Eileen Cox – Guyanese
Royalty
A few years ago, I was in Guyana visiting my mother, Eileen
Cox. She was 93, a frail, bent old
woman, physically a shadow of what she once was, but mentally still as
sharp as a razor. By this time, Mum rarely left her home in Subryanville;
indeed, she rarely ever left her bedroom, but sat there all day, near the
bedside phone, because, then as ever,
she was still President of the Guyana Consumers Association, and people still
turned to her for advice. I lived far away, in Germany, and visited when I
could, usually once a year to check on things.
That day she had to go to
the bank, and she needed me, or rather, my arm. I helped her out of the taxi and,
at a snail’s pace, she hobbled up to the Republic Bank entrance on Water
Street, hooked onto my elbow with one arm.
As is usual in the
morning, the Republic Bank lobby was packed. People milled about, having pulled
a number, and waited to be seated, while those seated waited to be called to the counter. But then a whisper went up: It’s Eileen
Cox! And the crowd before us parted like the Red Sea, and we made our slow
way forward, down a corridor of smiling faces, past calls of “Good morning Miss
Cox!” and “Hello Miss Cox!”; past autograph books held out for her to sign ---
oh wait, I got carried away there; that didn’t happen. But it really did feel
like arriving with some celebrity at the Oscars, walking up the red carpet with
my shuffling mother on my arm. Mum was served first, and nobody minded.
And Mum was, in her own
way, a celebrity in Guyana. I’m afraid that in my younger years I never really
appreciated her; I took her for granted, as young daughters often do. But
whenever I returned to Guyana and people realized she was my mother, they never
failed to tell me how much she meant to them. How much she helped them. How
they listened out for her on the radio, or read her Consumer Advocate columns
in the Stabroek News. How they loved her. “She was a phenomenon!” “An icon!” Taxi drivers who dropped me off at
her home would say, “Wait, you’re Eileen Cox’s daughter? I drove her once!”
So yes, I am the daughter
of a Guyanese celebrity: the real kind, the deserving kind, the kind who really
DID something to deserve her fame and wasn’t just famous for fame's sake. Mum
was internationally respected for her consumer activity, invited to Consumer
seminars and conferences around the world, from Chile to India to Canada.
She lived a public life, and her accomplishments are well known: starting with her activities in the Public Service Union, in the Credit Union, her advocacy for women's rights, and most of all, as President of the Consumers Association right up to her resignation aged 93. As a public figure she was outspoken and very direct; but she had another side to her, a private side, that others did not see.
It would be true to say that though she was not a Christian in name, she very much embodied true Christian values and ideals. She has always lived a most simple life, never expecting special favours, never living beyond her means. She loved flowers, nature, the fresh air of the sea wall. Up to her very last day, when she could no longer walk, her carer Sego would carry her downstairs so that she could enjoy the evening Atlantic breeze.
She never wanted more than what she had. She cared about people regardless of race, religion, political affiliation, gender. She was without wile and without guile; a divorcee by choice, she was married to her mission, the well-being of every single person in Guyana.
At times, when I was a child, I was even jealous because I thought she spent more time helping others than being with me. But in the end it was good for me, because it gave me a sense of independence and adventure, of daring to seek the unconventional. I learned that selflessness, not selfishness, is the true secret to a fulfilled life.
Which doesn't mean being
a doormat. She taught me that there is
strength and dignity in humility, in putting the needs of others before your
own, in caring, in serving. These are
the values she lived truly all her life. Though she was not typical for women
of her generation, these are all typically female strengths, subtle strengths
that tend to go unnoticed and undervalued, crushed by the typically male
strengths of domination and aggression. Yet water wears away stone, and women
have at all times and all places been the very backbone of society, precisely
through those quieter strengths and values. For Mum, these strengths brought
results. Men adored, respected, and bowed before her.
I'll end with an anecdote
provided by my cousin Mirri's husband, Peter Halder, a story that provides yet
another, less serious side to my mother. In Peter's own words:
“Mirri's parents held an Old Year's Night Party every year to celebrate Mirri's birthday but ostensibly to bring the family together for the last day of the year and thereby begin the new year in togetherness. Aunt Eileen attended each Party. She danced with Mirri's father, her brothers, especially the late Ivor, and I had one or two with her.
Imagine my shock
when a popular song was playing, she held out her hand to me for a dance,
and during it she let go of me and began to do The Hustle in grand style.
I was at a loss and just stood and watched. "Come on Peter," she said
with a smile, " don't tell me a young man like you doesn't know how to do
The Hustle."
Frankly I knew but was too embarrassed to do
it, especially the hip to hip bump with
someone I looked up to. She lived her life in such a manner that she was
regarded as the Queen of Subryanville.”
Yes: Mum was Guyanese
royalty, for it is the heart that really rules. She was a living example of
what we all could be to make our nation truly great. To regain our reputation
as The Land of Hospitality.
She was cremated three years ago almost to the day today. RIP, mum!
